For Dad

Sunflower Bouquet, watercolor on Arches 140 lb. cold-pressed paper. © 2015 Sheila Delgado.
Sunflower Bouquet, watercolor on Arches 140 lb. cold-pressed paper. © 2015 Sheila Delgado.

It is with deep sorrow that I write today. My father passed away unexpectedly, early Tuesday morning. July 14. He had been ill for about a month. Pneumonia, and then, COVID.

He was in the hospital for only ten days.

He retired to Mexico, and his wife Tere speaks almost no English. My Spanish is limited as well. So details are slow coming. They recently relocated to Los Mochis, from Guadalajara. We were all looking forward to being able to see them more often.

I was prepared. To lose my father someday, relatively soon. He spoke to my brother and me about this when we saw him in January. He shared his thoughts with us.

But hardest of all, and something none of us could have anticipated, is this forced separation we are all living with. I always thought we would spend his last days together.

I will share more soon. There is so much more to say.

2016, Eric & Iza's Wedding, Arizona
2016, Eric & Iza’s Wedding, Arizona
The American Academy of Cardiovascular Perfusion, Presidential Address, 1999. Frank Delgado, President.
The American Academy of Cardiovascular Perfusion, Presidential Address, 1999. Frank Delgado, President.
Morning walk, 2019
Morning walk, 2019

The morning after, I was led to my blog. I received a comment on an old post, and I always reply to comments. I read the quotes on the post, and they held new meaning for me.
I listened to the song I had shared, one I am sure my father would have enjoyed.

Funny how things come to you. A sign from above…

“Piglet noticed that even though he had
a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”
A.A. Milne

Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos into order,
confusion into clarity.
It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
Melody Beattie

“Enough’ is a feast.”
Buddhist Proverb

Watercolor 4 x 5
4 x 5 Watercolor on 140 lb. cold press. © 2013 Sheila Delgado

The paintings, were two of my Dad’s favorites.

Please know that I am so very grateful for your messages.
I hope you can forgive me if I am unable to respond right away.
(If you subscribe, you will be notified via email when I do.)

God Bless and keep you in his loving embrace.
Please, please be safe.

Sheila Marie

32 thoughts on “For Dad

  1. paintamasterpiece

    Since I read this yesterday I’ve been at a loss to find words. It is something we have both feared. I will be allowed to see my Mum on Wednesday for half an hour after 5 months anguish, two trips to ER without me by her side and our (for her) mystery separation. I have gone through the scenario of her dying without her family many times. And now we have an second wave outbreak and it may still happen. I hope Tere was allowed to visit even through glass. Whatever you decide don’t travel until it is absolutely clear. A lot of people out here love you, I hope you can feel us supporting you through the ethers.

    Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Aww, I can dear friend, I can.
      Made me cry.
      I am so sorry for what you are going through as well Sea. 5 months is insane, especially when there is so little time left. And to not have you there, while she is having an operation. So difficult for both of you. I am glad to hear that you did get a few moments with her. I know that was a huge relief for you, and a great comfort to her.
      I don’t think Tere was able to see him. She did take pictures the first day, from the hall. And I think that was the last time she saw him. It is a small town, and they do not have Facetime or any of that. He and I texted each other 2 days before he went in, and he told me he was going in. So I did not try to contact him after that. If I had known, I could have called him. It was difficult for him to speak, through the coughing.
      This disease is so debilitating, so ravaging. And on top of all that, it separates us from our support system, just when we need it most. Vicious.
      Keeping you and your mom in my prayers Sea. xoxox

      Reply
  2. Martha Slavin

    Dear Sheila, I’m so sorry for your loss and at such a difficult time. Your paintings bring joy and I hope you will keep some of that in your heart when you think of your dad.

    Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Thank you Martha for your kind thoughts. 🙂
      I surely will. He loved life, and I know he was happy and content.
      That gives me great comfort.

      Blessing to you and yours,
      may you stay safe and well 🙂

      Reply
  3. Carol Edan

    I can really feel the loss especially when one is so far away! I lost my sister in Mexico as well. Having a service will make the closure easier but let your sorrow flow, remember all the wonderful memories and he will be with you! Please take care! Brachot!

    Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Thank you, Carol. A continent and an ocean away…. very long distance indeed.
      I do my friend. 😉 I cry with abandon, LOL 🙂
      Stay safe dear friend!
      Brachot!

      Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Aww, thank you, dear Lana.
      Hugs and prayers to you and yours.
      May the good Lord keep you safe and well! xoxox

      Reply
  4. Judie Bevacqua

    I always considered Frankie a good friend. We kept in touch long after High School because of mutual friends and mutual interests in Health Care. Frankie truly cared about his family and his friends and humanity. He will be missed. He leaves a hole in my heart as does the loss of everyone I once knew and always will love. Soon our hearts will look like swiss cheese. Lots of holes for every year we get older! Stay well my friends. Be safe! Take good care!!!!

    Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Aww, thank you Judie. Hugs and prayers to you.
      He had kept in touch with many friends from high school, and he was always telling us stories.
      I love that – swiss cheese. Yes. :o/
      Do stay safe and may you stay well!
      God Bless,
      Sheila

      Reply
  5. Al Stammers

    Thank you Sheila for letting us all know about your dad, and our good friend, Frank. He was a wonderful human being and a great leader in our profession. His kindness has touched so many and the fond memories we all have of him will always be cherished in our hearts. He was truly one of a kind and I was fortunate to call him friend.

    Al Stammers

    Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Thank you Al for your kind words. His friends were like family to him, and he delighted in the pleasure of their company.
      He never forgot his friends.
      Blessings to you and yours. xoxo

      Reply
  6. Jeffrey Shafer

    Frankie, as we called him in high school, was an elite athlete and talented man. We reconnected recently and visited him in Guadalajara Mexico. Tere and Frankie treated my wife and I like family. He was happy, engaging and a heck of a lot of fun to be around. He will be missed and is loved by a large family and friends. Rest In Peace Frankie my friend. Adios.

    Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Aww, thank you Jeff. Yes, I need to post his accolades. He was a doer!
      In time… So much to take care of just yet. I can see how happy all of your were,
      in the photos you shared. 🙂
      Love and blessings to you both!
      xoxo

      Reply
  7. Sandi

    Sheila thank you for including us in your blog. We’ve always enjoyed our visits with you and your Dad, they were just too few and to far apart! Looking forward to your next writing.💕

    Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Yes, time passes too quickly. It seems only yesterday that we were together here in Arizona.
      Dad loved his family and spending time with them.
      Lovely to have you follow the blog. 🙂 I have several Works in progress on my desk. And photos of the mountains to post as well. LOL 🙂
      Blessings to you all. 🙂

      Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Your understanding of loss is profound my friend.
      I so appreciate your hugs and prayers.
      God Bless dear Chandra. xoxo

      Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Dad was all about music, his great love. I have many cassettes and CDs he made for me.
      It does heal, you are right Christine. 🙂
      xoxox

      Reply
  8. Christine brooks

    Such a beautiful post. I so understand all your words and feelings. My heart is with yours. The photos and paintings are beautiful. Hugs from up the hill/mountain.

    Reply
  9. Val van der Poel

    My heart felt sympathy on your loss Sheila. I am sure it was extra hard as you couldn’t be with him in his last days. God bless!

    Reply
  10. laurelle cidoncha

    I know how difficult this must have been to post, but as your faraway friend I appreciate the information so I can relate more deeply. How fortunate you and your brother were to have had that conversation in January. The long distance of where your father was living to where you are and this horrible lockdown situation obviously compounds this tremendously. If I can help in any way with the Spanish–if your dad’s wife wants to write anything–I can translate it to you very quickly. Will your father be buried in Mexico or will they bring his remains back to the US? I hope his last years were spent in peace and contentment in a place where he wanted to be even though it was distant from his loved ones. The death of a loved one is one of the most stressful episodes of our lives and our own health becomes secondary. In your case you cannot allow that, nor would your father want that. So you must do what he would want and that is take care of yourself and just rest and stay home. You will do what is the most natural thing in the world, grieve, remember so many things, and love. Grieving is loving. We grieve because we love. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and just hold you, Sheila. So feel it now. That is what I’m doing. Sending you my love and prayers.

    Reply
    1. Sheila Post author

      Thank you, dear friend. Thank you. I will keep that in mind, the translation.
      I am not sure of the details yet, but Dad was cremated. Tere said, “that is what they do”.
      We will hold a service when we all can gather together. And that will probably be in Colorado,
      his family is there, and some lifelong friends. And I believe Tere will hold a service in Mexico,
      but again, Nothing is set yet.
      And my brother and I will have to find a way to get to Mexico, to retrieve some of his personal belongings.
      Tere I am sure will come here for the service. She is very well-loved by the family.

      Hugging you right back Laurelle. Con mucho gusto amiga! Besos 🙂

      Reply

Thanks for visiting! I hope you'll take a minute and say hello. Always great to hear from you!