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Declaration of You will be published by North Light Craft Books this summer, with readers getting all the permission they’ve craved to step passionately into their lives, discover how they and their gifts are unique and uncover what they are meant to do! This post is part of The Declaration of You’s BlogLovin’ Tour, which I’m thrilled to participate in alongside over 100 other creative bloggers. Learn more and join us!
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December 2007, I was diagnosed with Lupus. For the previous year, I had struggled with constant muscle and joint pain. I had the butterfly rash. Mouth sores. Extreme fatigue. I was always cold, and my toes and fingers were often numb, or painful due to Raynaud’s. I was sensitive to sunlight, sensitive to touch and my hair was thinning. I seldom kept my supper down. I had a cough that would not quit. I had so many symptoms, that one doctor treated me as if I was a hypochondriac, and advised me to take a nap in the afternoon.
December 11, 2008, my job was downsized. I was single. Living alone, with little in the way of savings. The kicker – the company wellness program had a drawing, and gave about a dozen employees nationwide, free health benefits for a year. I was one of the recipients. Or would have been.
I had been working 60 hour weeks, taking work home. Friends told me to go on a medical leave, but taking a cut in pay was not an option. I was in so much pain, that washing my hair was difficult. I could barely climb the stairs to my apartment.
I was working at a Casino, and as standard practice, I was escorted off the premises. As if I had done something wrong. Frustration, humiliation, desperation. I broke down and cried in my car.
Out of no where, the thought came to me. “If you are not going to take care of this, I will.” I didn’t hear a voice, but it was suddenly clear. The decision I would not make for myself, had been made for me. God took the wheel from my hands. After bawling for a few minutes, a phone call to my friend, and one to my mom. I drove home. And took a nap. I had a sense of calm. And I knew that somehow things would work out. And they did. They are.
I believe. I trust God.
This is just my story. Part of it. I could tell you about all the little blessings, and big blessings that have come my way. Or how each and everyday, new opportunities present themselves to me. Really, it amazes me. Yes I am actively looking for them, but they are there.
I trust:
- Good will preserver.
- Right will win.
- I will be loved.
- I will know more next week, than I do today.
- My blog, my art, my designs will continue to improve.
- If my heart breaks, it will heal.
- That I will learn from each failure.
- Red and blue make purple.
- A cure will be found for Lupus.
- That God is good.
After losing my job, my mom gave me a canvas with this poem by Roy Lessin printed on it. It hangs above my desk. I trust that I am exactly where I meant to be. And that God has great plans for me. As he does for everyone.
These words inspire me. I hope they will inspire you too.
Send a postcard – surprise a friend!
As I face the possibility of MS & the certainty of losing my job, you give me hope. Everything is always alright; I just forget that every now and again.
Jen I will keep you in my prayers. It gets really hard at times, but try to stay positive and thankful. This will help you with the stress and all the changes that you may be going through. If you can focus on just one good thing, no matter how small, well, that may be enough to carry you through the day. I hope you will have many small things (and big ones too) to be grateful for each day. 🙂